Murphy's Laws of Combat Operations

1. If the enemy is in range, SO ARE YOU.
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
4. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
5. The easy way is always mined.
6. Try to look unimportant. The enemy may be low on ammo.
7. No combat unit ever passed an inspection.
8. Things that must be together to work, usually can't be shipped together.
9. Anything the Army says is man-portable, isn't.
10. Gun tape is the solution to most any field problem.
11. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
12. All 5 second fuses will burn out in 3.
13. No plan suvives the first contact...intact.
14. If it's stupid but works, it's not stupid.
15. Veterans are predictable, it's the replacements that are dangerous.
16. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

- when you're ready for them.
- when you're not ready for them.

17. Teamwork is essential, it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
18. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
19. There's no such thing as a "sucking chest wound," all chest wounds SUCK.
20. If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush.
21. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
22. Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
23. Tracers work both ways.
24. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
25. Never share a trench with anyone braver than you are.
26. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in combat.
27. When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
28. Remember: Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
29. Friendly fire isn't.
30. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when
you can sleep.
31. The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass.
32. There is no such thing as an atheist in a trench.
33. Remember: A retreating enemy is just regrouping for a counter-attack.
34. If at first you don't succeed call in an air-strike.
35. Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
36. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
37. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
38. A clean and dry set of Combats is a magnet for mud and rain.
39. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo,
you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
40. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
41. Interchangeable parts aren't.
42. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
43. There is no such thing as military 'intelligence'
44. The one item you need is always in short supply.
45. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
46. Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
47. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
48. To steal information from a person is called plagarism. To steal information from the
enemy is called gathering intelligence.
49. The perfect officer for the job will be posted in the day after that position is filled by some
unqualified idiot.
50. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the emeny takes 2 weeks to attack. When you
are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
51. The enemy never monitors your radio traffic until you broadcast on an unsecure net.
52. Whenever you drop your equipment in a fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall the
farthest away, and your canteen always lands at your feet.
53. As soon as you are served hot rations from a hay box, it rains.
54. Never tell your Section Commander you have nothing to do.
55. Walking point = sniper bait.
56. Your Biv Site for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day.
57. Recoiless weapons aren't.
58. Suppressive fire works on everything but the enemy.
59. You are not Superman, but sometimes thinking you are will save your ass!

Murphy was a grunt